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Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2014 8:00 pm
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Good morning,
My mom was diagnosed with LBD maybe 2 years ago. She and my dad and my special needs brother ( he works and drives just cannot live alone) live at home. My dad is 87 ( 88 on tuesday!) and my mom is 83. My mom has just started a new drug for hallucinations. She has also been on Namenda and two other drugs for anxiety. Unfortunately, things have gotten worse. She is up at nights talking to the lamps and chairs. My poor dad follows her around and is exhausted. We do have people coming in, but only on the morning or afternoon for a couple of hours. My dad really wants to take care of her. He told me at night when she starts to mumble he just goes over and hold her hand and she settles down. My parents live in Florida and live in Maryland, so when I get a phone call from my dad my heart is in my mouth. I do have an older brother that lives in the same city, but really does not help. Not sure if he is in denial or just cant handle it. It's so hard being so far away. My dad wants to take my mom on a cruise with her sister and her grown children. I told my dad I would go to help, but now I am not sure if it is such a good idea to take her. My dad does have a call into her doctor to talk about it. He feels since she will be with her family it amy be good. I just don't know, but my gut says it would not be a good idea. Any thoughts? Thanks for letting me ramble on. I'm glad I found this site and will be visiting often.

cheryl


Sun Jan 26, 2014 12:37 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3345
Location: Vermont
Post Re: new to this site
A trip sounds like a good idea for your dad, but the few things you've said about your mom would make me question why anyone thinks it would be a good idea for her. Getting together with her family - yes, I can see benefit in that certainly. But, if she is having the level of issues that you say, a big change, like going on a cruise might exacerbate her issues.

It does sound like your dad needs respite. Would he be willing to leave your mom in capable hands and have the rest of the family go on a cruise with him? Or have everyone get together where they live (having short visits, with a few people at a time seeing your mom). Even family and close friends visiting tends to wear people out when they are at this stage, so shorter visits will probably be tolerated better.

Moving an elderly, ill person is probably going to make her symptoms worse, and what kind of a vacation is that going to be for anyone? Discussing this with her dr. and doing some reading about others in similar circumstances before any further plans are made might be a good thing to do. Good luck, let us know what is decided. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sun Jan 26, 2014 11:32 pm
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Joined: Wed Nov 13, 2013 3:30 pm
Posts: 59
Post Re: new to this site
I wouldn't do the cruise. As confused as an LBD patient can be in their very own home, think how much more confused your mom will be in new surroundings? Not to mention, all the noise, talking, excitement, change in diet, etc. etc. etc. inherent with a busy cruise ship will be sensory overload for her.

My husband is only a year into this but we can no longer attend parties. It's just too much for his brain to handle and, while he seems to enjoy it at the time, I pay for it afterwards with more confusion, disorientation and sleep disruptions.


Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:17 am
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Joined: Sat May 25, 2013 3:53 pm
Posts: 251
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Hi Cheryl,

I understand your concern! At one point we had to decide whether to take my Mother on a trip to Mexico with the family. Mom was fairly stable at the time but we knew any change could cause who knows what. But we decided to go for it and in hindsight both my sister and I now are really glad we did it when we did. My Mom did have one day where things went haywire (we had to take her away from a show and straight back to the room and calm her down) and she did spend most afternoons in her room resting with one of us supervising, but we did have some really nice times swimming in the pool and dinner all together and some great times with pictures I am soooo glad we had the chance to make. So, it's risky and you just don't know what your Dad will have to deal with but that was our experience.

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Gail, Forum Moderator & daughter of Doris who passed away Dec. 2010 after living with LBD for 7 years.


Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:25 am
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Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2014 8:00 pm
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Post Re: new to this site
Thanks for the input. My dad decided to cancel the trip, but I am still going down for the week. We will take a few short day trips and still have a great time!


Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:57 pm
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Joined: Sat May 25, 2013 3:53 pm
Posts: 251
Post Re: new to this site
That sounds like a great plan! You can still make the memories without the added risk/stress of the cruise. Enjoy the moments!

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Gail, Forum Moderator & daughter of Doris who passed away Dec. 2010 after living with LBD for 7 years.


Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:04 pm
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