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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3441
Location: Vermont
Post Re: First time to post...
Debbie - none of us can know what we will actually do when the time comes and we have to rethink ours or our LOs living will, AD, etc. Things that seemed so clear when we were all healthy can become at least a little cloudy when things are not going so well.

Many years ago when my mom suddenly collapsed and was comatose, her AD was NOT honored by the hospital where she was taken to the ER. She had just been a patient in that hospital the week before, so her AD was in her file, it was up to date, etc. What I found out through an extremely painful few days is that if an ambulance is called, it is the duty of the ambulance crew or first responders to "save" the person's life, despite what is in an AD. And once the unconscious person is in the hospital, unless their medical POA is standing right there waiving the AD and DNR in front of the drs. the person will be put on all sorts of life saving equipment, meds, etc.

To honor the AD and DNR may vary state to state or even hospital to hospital. My parents lived in an area where, for the most part, things are very provincial, doctors are gods, and the rest of us know nothing and have no business interfering. Family members are treated like we don't have a brain in our head and have no business knowing anything or stating our point of view. In the same state, only 90 min. away, things can be quite different in the big city hospitals…

Sleep on it, maybe talk with others you trust who know you and your husband, and perhaps what direction you should take will be a bit clearer tomorrow. It really is not easy, and I feel so much empathy for you, having been there and done that for both of my parents. Take care and get a good night's sleep. Lynn

Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.

Mon Feb 10, 2014 10:06 pm
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