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 Time to remove the "long-distance" 
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Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 1:29 pm
Posts: 1
Post Time to remove the "long-distance"
Hi All,

I am looking for help in general, but specifically I would like to connect with others who moved themselves to be closer to a loved one with LBD. My husband and I have been together for over 7 years and in that time we have witnessed his father's slow decline in cognitive and emotional health as a result of this disease. He used to be ok on his own, but this past weekend we were unable to reach him or the woman he was seeing and found out this morning that he had been institutionalized. He was in South Carolina but owns a home in Florida, and we are in Maine. It seems clear that we have reached the moment where Dad can no longer live in a separate state, but due to his concurrent fibromyalgia he cannot come live with us. I know that he is not going to tolerate being told that we are uncomfortable with his living alone and will resist, but I feel like we have to go to him. Has anyone else been here?


Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:08 pm

Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: Time to remove the "long-distance"
Welcome to the forums, Brandi.

I haven't been in your situation. I'm sure that being near you fil would help in many ways, and be challenging in others. People with long-distance experince will no doubt share their experiences.

How did you decide that you need to move, rather than moving him?

Are you expecting to have him in long term care, or to support him in his own home? Why did he wind up institutionalized?

Again, welcome. The wide range of experiences among posters here is bound to give you food for thought.

Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012

Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:40 pm

Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 11:30 pm
Posts: 318
Location: southern cali
Post Re: Time to remove the "long-distance"
welcome brandi.. sorry dont have any experience with that either.. but wishing you the best as you find answer that works best for all of you...

if he is in a care home and hes comfortable, will you need to be there on a day to day basis... ?? is there a reason he cant come up by you..since it sounds he is making a move of some sort already??

let us know how you are doing~~~

sole CG for hubby.1st symptoms, 2000, at 55. Diag with AD at 62, LB at 64.. vietnam vet..100% ptsd disability,sprayed with agent orange, which doubled chances for dementia. ER visit 11-13,released to memory care..

Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:59 pm

Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post Re: Time to remove the "long-distance"

Is the fibromyalgia made worse if your FIL moves to where you are?

Are you and your husband able to move?

Perhaps you can start off with long visits, and hire someone like a geriatric care manager who can keep his/her eyes on the situation when you aren't there.


Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:28 pm

Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: Time to remove the "long-distance"
Welcome to the LBDA forums, sorry for your need and I really can't comment on your situation as I have not experienced it.It sounds like to me that you will have to come up with a plan soon and a move could take a long time unless you really are in the postion to just pick and move. I would think him coming to you would be the easier route to go but whatever you decide I wish you luck !

Irene Selak

Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:08 pm
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