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 New member from Switzerland 
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Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 8:00 am
Posts: 2
Post New member from Switzerland
Hello everyone,
I do not know what to write, now that I am finally admitted on the forum. My father was diagnosed with dementia, little surprise it was. He began to have problems articulating in speech a while ago, began to misplace and forget things. These days he can hardly make a sentence anymore, and forgets where in his appartment he finds the food. He soils himself and not just with urine. We had to confiscate everything obviously dangerous like matches and lighters. He did set the table on fire, and just stared at it without calling for help. Currently he is blessed with alot of drowsiness.
Lately the Docs said it is probably LBD, and the more I am reading the more sense it makes. I am so releived, We were not just seeing things, it makes sense now. The odd movements during REM sleep, the drowsiness, the hallucinations (rare though).
He is on Exelon, it helped a bit in the beginning, but now the decline seems very rapid. My brothers live in other countries. There is a "part time girlfriend" who looks for him a couple days of the week. The responsible person is me though. I see to it that things are happening, that he gets additional care, I write the applications for homes for elderlies should there be an emergency etc.
My father was an abusive ice-cube all my life, so I am sorry but I do not have too many feelings for that person. Glad I received life, thanks. I do my best to be a responsible person none-the-less though. Like I would for a distant aunt or uncle having no other relatives close by. Which does not change the fact that I am responsible. Well, at least I think so. I should check that from a legal point of view. But I think, if he burns down the house, and the other family in the house takes damage, I am in trouble.
So, I knew what to write. Thanks for reading this far :)

Last edited by Switzy on Sun Jun 06, 2010 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sun Jun 06, 2010 5:19 pm

Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Sorry to read that your father was an abusive ice-cube in the past. I'm sure that makes managing his care a bit more challenging than it would otherwise be. Good sounds like you are doing your best.

Sun Jun 06, 2010 6:00 pm

Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3441
Location: Vermont
Welcome Switzy - I am so sorry for what you are going through. I don't know how the legal process works in Switzerland, but in the US people have "Power of Attorney" - both for medical and for business purposes. Has your dad designated you as the legal responsible person? You may want to check with someone in your legal system about liability and safety regarding other people living in his house, and take steps to protect everyone from fire and other unsafe situations. ( And, to protect his assets and take care of his financial matters as well as making medical decisions.)
Your dad is lucky, given what you say about his earlier parenting, that you are willing to do what needs to be done to take care of him. I wish you all the best in dealing with a very challenging situation.
I live 500 miles from my dad who has dementia, so I know the challenges your family has in helping to take care of him. It is not easy. Lynn

Sun Jun 06, 2010 7:39 pm
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