Hello,

My dad is 80 currently in the nursing home section of a VA hospital. (This is very hard on my mom, who kept him at home (with HHA assistance) for years. I think it has broken her heart to have him there. She visits six days a week. It's hard on everyone.

We were given the LBD diagnosis about 6 months ago after living with a parkinson's diagnosis for nearly 10 years. We knew his brain functioning was declining, so we really just thought he was experiencing for Alzheimers along with the Parkinson's symptoms.

Now, from reading this board, I see that is common, as was the fact that so many meds did not help him.

All of the "kids" are sandwiched and I feel as if there is never enough time for anything, my job, my children, my husband, my mother and definitely not my father.

Plus, I really miss him. I miss him right as I'm sitting in the room with him, searching for a sign that he knows who I am, that he can differentiate me from one of the nurses. Selfish I guess. I wish I could just accept wherever he is when I visit, and just be there for him.

Going to post a question on the other section, but I wanted to introduce myself.

Leslie

A warm welcome to you, Leslie. It is, indeed, heartbreaking to watch the inevitable decline. To live with the man I've loved so many years, and still love, who does not recognize me as his wife but sees me as an impostor most of the time, I understand your grief. This forum will give you much knowledge, support and encouragement. God bless you. --Pat

Leslie,
Welcome to the LBDA forums, sorry for the need but glad you are here.LBD is tough on families, so many conflicting emotions in all the things we want to do and I wouldn't put wanting your Dad to know who you are as selfish it is a natural emotion to feel and I am sad for you. With the help of the members here hopefully you will see this is all the course of a disease of this nature!
Visit often!

Hi Leslie - my heart goes out to you. My 88 yr. old dad has dementia (we thought LBD for a while, but now sounds like another type plus some other diseases). Anyway, many of the symptoms are similar, and the grief of losing a loved one before they are actually gone lives with us all every day. The dad I knew has been gone for about a year and it is terrible to see him live a tortured existence day after day.
Like many others, I'm one of the Sandwich Generation also. I never feel like my husband and youngest son get my attention as much as they deserve. I spend a lot of time "commuting" between Maryland and Vermont, which isn't easy or fun but it just has to be.
Just keep on doing your best, and please take care of yourself in the meantime. Welcome to a friendly, informative place. Lynn