dorthia
just read this, I NEVER misundrstood you, I knew what you meant . I think you mis read mine and thought I didntunderstand yours
I never thought you were in dnger, and Iknew Iwasnt ,
sorry about your mix up on that about me misunderstanding.
I didnt.

Dorothea, maybe 2 years ago I opened my eyes in the middle of the night to see my husband standing near the bed with a baseball bat. I asked him what he was doing (I just about jumped to the ceiling being awakened like that) and he pointed to right beside me and asked who the guy was standing beside me by the bed.... i said there was no man beside the bed.... my husband didn't believe me but walked around and went through the house and finally decided that he must be dreaming (at my suggestion) and he believed me.... NEEDLESS TO SAY, when he finally went back to bed, I hid the bat. The next day the doctors put him in the hospital for 2 days to monitor his meds and probably just because I was freaked out about it but he was/is such a love he was truly trying to protect me from SOMEONE. He would protect me to his death but I still get a little (frightened may be too strong) but concerned that his confusion might lead him to think I am someone else.... But I am more than willing to call the doctors in if that happens.... they are very understanding and would do anything needed if anyone felt that I was threatened. My sweet husband, I don't even like to think that way - but really, we never know where "Lewy" will take them... TODAY IS A REALLY GOOD DAY.... SPENT TIME WITH GRANDKIDS AND THEY MAKE ME AND RON LAUGH SO MUCH THEY ARE JUST A JOY.... IT IS GOOD TO FEEL THAT JOY AND LAUGHTER.... RON BOUGHT ME A VALENTINES CARD (OUR SON TOOK MY HINT AND TOOK HIM TO GET A CARD),,, IT WAS A WONDERFUL CARD BUT HE COULDN'T WRITE A NOTE OR SIGN IT AND HE TRIED TO SCRIBBLE AND IT BROKE MY HEART BECAUSE I COULD SEE HOW HE WAS STRUGGLING SO..... I didn't know you could actually feel pain so far down in the solar plexus or soul... or wherever it is. LOVE TO YOU GIRLS ON THIS NIGHT... CHERYL

Cheryl, so nice of you to think of me and send a note on this day. Yes, love is a strange and wonderful emotion. I hope you are keeping a journal or a diary. Oh, the baseball bats! I am finding them in the back corners of closets and other strange, safe places. His pocket knife that had always been a part of his very existence, we allowed our son-in-law to "borrow" it and he kept forgetting to return it. So many stories. So much LOVE.

I hope everyone had a Happy Valentine's Day. I did. I am at peace.

Dorthea

Cheryl,
What a very special day for you... Thank you for sharing.
Robin

I remember it was at least seven years ago--maybe eight--when I hid the shells to the 12G shotgun [it was mine, as it had belong to my grandfather]. Then I hid the shotgun. [I eventually gave it away]. Then the axes and hatchet. The chain saw. [We lived in the mountains then, and these are normal tools to have around]. Then came the kitchen knives--it was awkward, because I needed to use them, and getting to them without his seeing where they were hidden was a real challenge. I had to find new places all the time. I still do.

My sister's father-in-law had AD and beat his wife with his cane one day because he didn't recognize her and thought she was an intruder. She placed him in a SNF after that. It's so scary! Surely, they may be protective of us if they know who we are, but they sometimes think we are somebody else! My husband only knows who I am about 20% of the time now. I feel blessed to be able to care for him and we still enjoy the occasional sweet moment or the odd joke. I still love him very much and wish he could love me again but I know he can't.

Sometimes I think I've been living in a Grade B movie of some kind. I know I don't dare look ahead--I don't want to know what happens next. I do know that--so far--I can handle things a day or an hour at a time. What a horrible disease!

Sadly when dealing with a demented person we don't know who they are at times and I always say enjoy those few moments of when things seem good, we never know how long they will last or if we will ever get them again. No real point in looking to far ahead either because none of us knows what that might be either!

pbronish, how is your life these days. I saw that you were new and I just wanted to make sure you are hanging in there.... I am having a cross eyed kind of day today..... mucho nutso... but how are you? Cheryl ps other girls - how are you guys today.... i am up late trying to get rid of some heart-burn, anxiety and anger.... just trying to be a chipper little mary poppins here....

Irene, can I say I am going CRAZY???? in this forum..... I know I am not supposed to use foul, offensive language but this just about says it all for me.... efficient, to the point, no confusion or misunderstanding about where I am at the moment.... whadayathink? Cheryl