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 first time posting [- husband wityh LBD 
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Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:28 pm
Posts: 697
Location: LA
Post apology acceepted
Its alright, Cheryl, I understand in our desire to help one of our "sisters" on this forum --- there sre so many--- the identities can become confusing. Please don't stop with your sharing. Your knowledge and experience is so needed. The new members just keep on coming. They need answers and a place to talk.

Dorthea


Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:38 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
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The throbbing vein running from my left eye brow up to my hair line made me pause and ponder in an unusually detached manner if this disease would kill me before it kills my husband. Then my thoughts ran to leaving the adult children with this mess and where is my living will and are the bank accounts up to date and what about the dog and is there dirty underwear laying around somewhere and....... of course, when I resurfaced from my thoughts of misery and gloom, and realized that I hadn't stroked out and wasn't laying on the floor trying to crawl to the phone and call for help, I decided that it was simply another day and I needed to take ibuprophen for the headache. But there are many many days when my eye will twitch when my husband is trying to tell me something or my heart will race and I think I am having an anxiety attack or my thoughts make no sense at all and I think "this is it" I am going over the edge.... then I can't keep my train of thought so I go to see if I have some pimento cheese or something chocolate and I look out the window at the birds and our frenetic squirrel and I find some peace even just for a moment.. cheryl


Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:47 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3176
Location: WA
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As I posted somewhere yesterday, I have developed insomnia, palpitations, eczema and hypertension since this all began. Even though I am 16 years younger than my husband, I wouldn't lay odds that I will survive him. And that worries me, too, because no one else is remotely interested in looking after him. :(


Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:56 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
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I read an article somewhere - some neurology thing - a couple of years ago and it was from this woman whose husband had been a doctor. He had LBD or Alzheimer's - I think LBD... anyway as he got worse, he would become very verbally abusive toward her and threaten her, chase her around things like that .... then he would call 911 and say she was hurting him. The poor gal, since he had been a well-respected physician, they all believed the doctor!!!! She had to not only help him but go through others believing that she was hurting her husband and he called 911 on a regular basis... Finally, he passed away.... but I remember thinking how cruel it was that she had to put up with all that..... well, now no one believes that my spouse has as many problems as he does..... and he is becoming paranoid!!!!! He is a sweetheart but I swear if he ever accuses me of hurting him or anything close to it - they may have to come look for me in New Guinea and maybe I will find someone named Juan who speaks no English or maybe doesn't speak at all.


Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:09 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3176
Location: WA
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Believe me, chbaird, you have plenty of friends here who know exactly what you are going through!! For me, that alone makes it all easier to bear. Thank you all my Lewy friends!!!! You mean so much to my everyday survival!


Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:14 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3118
Location: Vermont
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We need to somehow find a way to take better care of ourselves. It is really difficult to find the time to exercise, and it is hard to de-stress. My health has suffered too because I haven't been able to handle the stress. My big wakeup call was being in the ER before Christmas with an acute atrial fibrillation event. The cardiologist told me if I hadn't gotten in when I did, I would have started forming bloodclots and had a stroke before the next day! For a 59 year old woman in excellent health, that nearly scared me to death. With the wonders of pharmaceuticals, a counselor, attending a support group, and all you great folks on the forum and chat, I am doing a much better job of keeping myself under control and not internalizing. I find it especially helpful to be able to vent on the chat. If you haven't done it, you may want to try it! I hope everyone has a good night. Lynn


Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:14 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
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my husband is doing well enough that he can go to a 45 minute stretching class 3 days a week.... it is for much older people but he fits in nicely. he can't handle himself afterward to shower so I take him for the class only and he goes into the class and the folks in the class mother and protect him to death!!! I can see him from the workout room so I can walk on the treadmill for about 30 minutes.... It is stressful trying to get him (and me) dressed and out the door to go because of all the interruptions and questions but we try to go most of the time.... At least it is a change in the scenery. He doesn't always want to go but he is fine once he gets in the class and the 80 and 90 year olds come over to take care of him (he is 59). I just started a caregiver.... she has come 2 times (once a week) and she seems to be good but we will see. she cancelled last week and i had already planned to get my hair done and get out of the house some.... so i was disappointed but hopefully she will come this week. All these steps are adjustments that aren't easy to get used to. Do I leave the house while she is here - do I hang around??? Where do I go - I am not used to having a whole lot of time..Everyone tells me i should arrange to leave him overnight and i guess i should but honestly it is almost more trouble to get it all arranged than it is worth. gotta get over the guilt!!!


Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:48 pm
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Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:11 pm
Posts: 117
Location: Tucson AZ
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LTCVT- how do you not internalize, what does it look like to not do that? What do you say to yourself. Anyone else is free to answer too.
Lori


Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:35 am
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
Post about internalizing
I do internalize.... the hard part is not letting it eat you up completely! it is a moment to moment - day to day thing. I don't know if there is a way to NOT internalize.... :?: cheryl


Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:17 am
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Joined: Sat Dec 05, 2009 7:24 pm
Posts: 34
Location: Northern Minnesota
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we all need a laugh or two, and I found this story really funny, maybe because I needed to laugh about something or I would cry about a lot of things, but here is the story, a lady in the nursing home lost her dentures, and her daughter was extremely upset about it, the whole staff were looking for them, they called in extra people to go thought the garbage, searched her room, and all the rooms nearby, but did not find her teeth, the daughter was getting more and more upset, and threatened to sue, and report the home for negligence, when the lady with the missing teeth, pulled up she shirt, and her daughter kept yelling at her to put it down, but she would not, and she then picked up one boob, and then the other, and there were her teeth. They asked if they had been there the whole 61/2 hours they had been looking for them, and her reply was every one knows I keep my teeth there. The daughters reaction, was I certainly thought you would have searched her. No I am sorry I made such a fuss nor any apology of any kind. The director of the home told the staff to be sure and check under the boobs of any one losing their teeth from no on.

Since I have a very strange sense of humor, I could picture this in my mind, and had to laugh about it, I hope some of you find a little humor in it also, and remember to check under their boobs if any thing is missing. I do wonder tho, if the daughter had some idea all along where the teeth probably were, but used the lost teeth as a reason to do some venting of her own.


Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:28 pm
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Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:28 pm
Posts: 697
Location: LA
Post Lost and found
What better place? I love it!

I needed a good laugh.

DrP


Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:35 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
Post good hiding spot
I suppose that would be a good spot to keep my cell phone. I keep losing it!


Tue Feb 09, 2010 6:54 pm
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
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I have one boob and I doubt that it could even hide a paper clip. :(


Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:20 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
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Well if your one boob isn't big enough to "store" stuff - maybe you should just get it tattooed with "wild thang" on it.......


Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:24 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3118
Location: Vermont
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Great story, and thanks for the laugh. Maybe that's where my checkbook is I lost yesterday, but I too, wouldn't be able to hide much!
Re: internalizing - I hate to admit it, but I think the heart meds and depression meds I am on are helping me not internalize because they have some anti-anxiety properties. I have never been on longterm prescription meds, but right now I have to be and I just have to accept that. Since my ER trip in Dec., and the meds they put me on right away, I just seem to be able to go with the flow better. I honestly don't know what kind of shape I'd be in so maybe it was a good thing that happened..... Lots of people find exercising helps them destress. I hate to exercise just for the sake of exercising. I know it's good for us for all sorts of reasons but I have to force myself to do it.
Maybe someone else can come up with some better ideas for not internalizing. When I talked with my husband every day I didn't just shove everything down inside, but then he got sick of hearing it! I think venting on this forum and chat have helped me a lot too. Lynn


Tue Feb 09, 2010 11:14 pm
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