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Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:23 pm
Posts: 21
Location: the Netherlands
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Hi all,
Another furstrating expierence yesterday. A nephew of mine called my dad yesterday, which is just fine, but he calles maybe 2 a year and then gets all emotional and takes everything my father says seriously. So far I m not really bothered but then he decides to call me and tell me all this and I try to explain that allthough I do understand his emotions I can not go the same direction because I deal with it everyday and life does go on. Whenever we need to act because things happen, change or no matter what we have to act immediately. But I don't feel like talking about it with everybody who feels sorry for my father, because it doesn't help our situation maybe it helpes them, but I'd rather have them seaking help elsewhere :wink:
I know it should get to me like this but every once in a while I jussed get angry about it!

Thanks for listening :)
Sandra


Sun Jan 18, 2009 3:52 am
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Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:30 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Henderson, Nv.
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Sandra,

Nephew should be in your shoes for a week...if he could stand it that long. :) You handled it well.
I used to vent to family members but it was causing a strain on those relationships. Then I found this site. Now I vent here and the family relationships are healthier. Also told family members and friends about this site and suggested strongly they visit here, read and learn about LBD from those who are experiencing the caregiving and if they have any questions to register and join in the discussions.

Keep strong and positive as best you can. :)

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Dianne C.


Sun Jan 18, 2009 4:49 am
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Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:30 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Henderson, Nv.
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Good advice. I will try to remember to be a duck. :)
My Mother had a good saying too: God gave you 2 ears...one on each side..one to hear with and the other to let it out the other side. I try to apply that when needed....but then we are only human and it is hard at times dealing with those who are ignorant of LBD and its ramifications.

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Dianne C.


Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:51 pm
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Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:23 pm
Posts: 21
Location: the Netherlands
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We also have a simular saying here which is one ear in the other ear out. But I'll try the duck thing, it makes me laugh anyway :)


Sun Jan 18, 2009 2:54 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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Hi Sandra,

I do give the nephew credit for at least calling your father, and then calling you out of concern.

Is there anyone else in the family who could be designated to speak with your nephew? If you are married, how about your husband?

When he calls again you can say "Oh, I'm so busy taking calls from concerned family members that I've asked so-and-so to help me by talking with you."

Robin


Sun Jan 18, 2009 4:05 pm
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Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:23 pm
Posts: 21
Location: the Netherlands
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Hi Robin,

Thanks for your reaction and I appreciate your advice. I also give my nephew credit for calling my father and me and I told him that we do appreciate his interest, but I m no longer interested in conversations like that and to be honest I don't feel like being diplomatic about it. So, if I can not be "a duck" at times I'll just tell them like it is and they can either take it or leave it (yes, I'm not a nice person sometimes :evil: ).

Rgds/Sandra


Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:29 am
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Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 8:38 pm
Posts: 712
Location: CA
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Sandra --
You did something close to what I was going to suggest. As soon as the caller finishes their opening statement, I would say "Thank you for calling, but I cannot talk about this right now. I hope you understand." And end the call. Yes, it's nice the nephew made the call, but let's face it, he only calls twice a year -- I would not worry about hurting his feelings. I'd be more worried about your conserving your emotional energy.

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Renata (and Jerome-in-Heaven)


Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:21 pm
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