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 husband dying 
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Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 5:31 pm
Posts: 7
Location: Williamston, MI
Post husband dying
3 days ago my husband was admitted to hospice. He didn't want to go but he had become more than I could manage. He stated he knew he'd die there and yesterday asked a nurse if he was dying. Learned after a bad day they had under-treated him with Seroquel, instead of using 50 mg. tablets were giving him 25 mg. and he was miserable. Got that straightened out last night but today wouldn't eat (didn't swallow), didn't open eyes or talk. Later they tell me when the swallowing stops that it's unlikely it will ever start up again and they are talking like he couldn't last more than 6 wks. without food or water. He has developed a rattling cough lately but this cleared up when head elevated. We know this disease is fatal but never expected it to be so quickly, was eating and walking around house pushing wheelchair just days ago. Has anyone else had an experience similar to this?
Arlene Martin
helpmeet

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Dreams a lot, talks to people and animals. Losing weight due to fact he can't stay awake to eat. Most of the time mind is foggy but occasionally clear which I treasure. In hospital bed now. Can get up to use commode but mostly wets disposable briefs.


Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:23 am
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Arlene,
I am sorry for the new developments with your husband, this is a illness that the unexpected is almost expected, does he have some sort of infection that often can be the reason for a sudden down turn.Is he in hospice for respite or do they think the end is near?
I do wish you well during this time.


Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:32 am

Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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Arlene,

You might post this message in some place other than "Introductions." (Not everyone reads "Introductions.")

Sorry to know that your husband is now too difficult for you to manage on your own. You definitely did the right thing for both of you in getting help. I hope you and your husband find hospice to be beneficial. Sorry that they made an error with the Seroquel...not good.

In my experience with people who have lost the ability to swallow, nearly all of them lose it forever. (Often the inability to swallow is brought on by an infection, such as a UTI or pneumonia.) I'm only aware of one person who successfully fought back and her swallow returned.

I would think that if your husband has given up, his ability to swallow will not return.

I was surprised that hospice told you he "couldn't last more than 6 wks. without food or water." In my experience, usually people slip into a coma after several days of no hydration/nutrition, and then die within a few days of that.

Even though your husband appears to be sleeping, I would encourage you to continue to talk to him, telling him you love him and that if he wants to go, it's OK....that you'll be OK without him. They say that hearing is the last sense to go.

We have seen similar circumstances before in our local group -- someone was walking around (with assistance) one day and then gone a week later. It is more common for the decline to take longer.

Please make arrangements now for brain donation, if that's consistent with your husband's wishes. If you have made these arrangements, notify the brain bank of your husband's condition. (Or ask hospice to.)

I hope when your husband's time comes, his passing is peaceful.

Robin


Sun Nov 02, 2008 1:37 am
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Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:54 pm
Posts: 13
Location: Wales, UK
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Arlene,

My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this time with your husband. When people become unable to swallow there's no turning back - the end can't be far away. I assume you don't want him to be kept alive with feeding tubes. It's important now for you to spend as much time as you can with him, getting ready to say goodbye.

My husband died two weeks ago, after a bout of pneumonia. His decline had been more gradual than your husband's, though a fall back in June caused a very sudden and devastating deterioration (he broke a hip). We were expecting him to succumb before long, as he was so frail, but still when the pneumonia struck it was sudden and I just didn't feel prepared. You never do! But I was able to be with him and talk to him (even though he was unconscious) and to tell him he would soon be free, and I'd love him always. He died very peacefully in my arms.

Of course this is a desperate time for you, but your darling will soon be over all his suffering. Bless you both. What can I say? Your love will be with him.

Hilary

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'The further in you go, the bigger it gets' (John Crowley)


Mon Nov 03, 2008 2:42 pm
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Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 11:19 pm
Posts: 28
Post This sounds so much like what I am going through.
Please see my post under the symptom and diagnosis section. I don't know if that is the best place to post, but it sounds a lot like what you went through,.

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May God hold you in the palm of His hand and shelter you in the light of His love.


Sun Jan 24, 2010 2:45 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3113
Location: Vermont
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My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. My dad is not at this stage yet, so I have no experience with it, but I am sure it is scary and unnerving for you. Lots of people on this forum and the chat can continue to give you support and information. Stay tuned, and don't be afraid to keep asking for help. This is a wonderful community of people, all with LBD in common. Take care, Lynn


Sun Jan 24, 2010 10:45 am
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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Last time "helpmeet" was here to post was in late 2008.


Sun Jan 24, 2010 11:02 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3173
Location: WA
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I see no posts for helpmeet since this one. I pray she is doing OK whether or not her LO died. Anyone know what happened? --Pat


Sun Jan 24, 2010 11:02 am
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Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 5:31 pm
Posts: 7
Location: Williamston, MI
Post husband died
Just found messages referring to my LO's end appearing and I thank all of you who took the time to write. It is getting easier but a song or something else can bring on the tears. We had almost 52 yrs. together and going on alone is hard to get used to. Have developed new widow friends who are an encouragement to me.

Arlene Martin (helpmeet)

_________________
Dreams a lot, talks to people and animals. Losing weight due to fact he can't stay awake to eat. Most of the time mind is foggy but occasionally clear which I treasure. In hospital bed now. Can get up to use commode but mostly wets disposable briefs.


Sun Jan 24, 2010 4:19 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post 
Arlene,
My condolences on the passing of your husband.
Robin


Sun Jan 24, 2010 5:21 pm
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