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 My Mom's world changed July 11th 
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Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 11:05 pm
Posts: 22
Location: Georgia
Post My Mom's world changed July 11th
This is my first post, although I've been reading the forum for awhile. Mom is 84. She fell July 10, and fractured her hip. She was operated on on July 11th. My life is now divided between before July 11th and after July 11th. The anesthiesologist told me that she couldn't have a local because the er had given her blood thinners. Since then I have learned tbat was not true. A simple medicine would have countered the blood thinners and she could have avoided general anestheisa and the risk of severe dementia.
Before: She watched C=span and read a book a day, hard books. In May she began to have difficulty understanding her meds so I took that over. She lives with me. And she seemed unwilling or unable to do her bills so I took that over too. And she started reading, or at least it looked like she was reading, two or three pages, but not the whole book. But she still knew the platforms of all the presidential candidates. She was very interested in politics, the court system, and angels and saints. She could vacuum the floor, go up and down stairs, take care of her clothing, do laundry etc etc She was always a proud and proper lady.
Now: She cannot walk and they have stopped doing physical therapy because they say she cannot cognitively do what they are teaching her. She thinks all these people who died years ago are visiting or living at the nursing home she is at. She thinks I have more children than I have and more grandchildren. And she is quite certain of this. She cannot unwrap a napkin to get her utensils out. She cannot find her own pocket. She is incontinent of bowel and urine. Someitmes she thinks she is in a bus station and she keeps missing the bus. Sometimes she thinks she is in an apartment building.
She went to a nursing home rehab after the operation. It was such an ordeal. They were awful. I took her out of there and had her home for two nights and three days. Had home health care but..... I cannot lift her, and I have arthritis in my hands and cannot get her diaper off and on.
When she broke her other hip six years ago I could lift her and put her on the bedpan, etc. And before that when she was so ill that they said she would die, I took her home and nursed her back to health.
It was so hard to not be able to do it again. Did I mention I work? But when I saw that my Mom was not clean enough and I couldn't take proper care of her, I begged this nursing home near me to take her.
They have been wonderful.
I have cried for hours some days. Other days I just feel sad, and I miss her. I see her all the time, but that is not her. I've lost my Mom, but the funeral won't be for awhile, cause her body is still alive.
Thank you for letting me tell my story.

LBD mom to daughter: "We've been through worse than this. It'll be all right."

Fri Sep 26, 2008 12:25 am
I just would like to take a moment to welcome you to the LBDA Forums, sounds like you have been through an ordeal and sadly this often comes with this illness,I am glad to hear you have found a good place for your Mom to be and they are caring for her in a good way. You haven't lost your Mom yet, she is still there just different to what you know her as, so as you travel this journey you will learn to adjust to her many changes ahead.
I am glad you have been reading here it sometimes is so helpful just knowing you aren't alone. As you write at the forums, try to fit into an area that applies to your post, that way many more people will see it and respond.

Take care!

Fri Sep 26, 2008 11:10 am

Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2008 11:05 am
Posts: 150
Location: Raleigh, NC
Dear Athyca,

I am so sorry for what you and your mother have gone through. And I understand your great sorrow in not being able to care for your mother at home. I had to make the same decision. I do hope you can take some comfort in knowing that you have done and are continuing to do everything you can in the best interest of your mother. Whenever you need us, you'll find friends and fellow Lewy-land travelers on these forums.


Sat Sep 27, 2008 8:42 am

Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 11:05 pm
Posts: 22
Location: Georgia
Thank you Irene, Manymoons and garnetb for the kind and inspiring words. I truly feel you understand, and it is helpful to know that others are dealing with some of the same things. Also, helps to know what the course of this disease is. We had a very good visit today. I took some pictures from years ago and we had such a good time looking through them. She was better today mind-wise but I've been through this enough to know that this is an up and down thing. I am going to try to find out Monday whether she had her B12 shot, and could that be the cause of this unusually good day. She also had a wet sounding cough so I told the aide and she said she would tell the nurse but I will check tomorrow to see if the message got through tomorrow.
I am blessed with a wonderful partner who loves my mother dearly and shares this with me, and a truly good friend who goes to visit my mom simply to help me. Now she and mom are good friends, mom never remembers her name but she remembers her. And I am fortunate that my extended family though far away support my decisions.
Thank you again, and I will post more on the topics from time to time.

My uncle (Mom's brother) who had parkinsons always said something similiar to manymoon's saying, "It is how it is". He would always say it be how it be.


LBD mom to daughter: "We've been through worse than this. It'll be all right."

Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:16 pm
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