I want to clarify that in my earlier post that a divorce could be a legal tactic to protect the well spouse financially, and only as a last resort, I did not mean to imply approval of any of the abandonment or other actions which separate the spouses in fact. Divorce and abandonment are not synonomous although one can provide the cause for the other.

Gail….I understand what you are saying….

and I think I agree…tricking the government into doing the right thing….does not equal abandonment….I did not want to imply that either…

I think that was clear, Gail.

Abandonment is not a subject that comes up often in conversation, but I used that word yesterday. We drove by a newly constructed long term care facility of some kind, and I said to Coy, "I hope you will be able to stay at home the rest of your life." He said fervently, "I do too!" I assured him that there was a good chance that that is what would happen, and that I would certainly work very hard at making it happen. But in the end I might not be able to give him the care he would need. I might not be able to get him out of bed, for example. There followed my dear mechanical engineer's explanation of what kind of hoist could be used for that. When we got back on topic, I said, "If it is ever necessary to have you in a place where a professional team could care for you, don't think I'd bring you there and abandon you. I would be there every day, and I would keep a close eye on the care you were getting, and be your advocate. We are in this together, forever." He just squeezed my hand.