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 The Dr. used the "N" word 
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: The Dr. used the "N" word
Is your husband supporting you in this struggle? I hope?

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:46 pm
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Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:25 am
Posts: 227
Post Re: The Dr. used the "N" word
My husband is wonderful. I think he's afraid of his sisters. One is down right hateful. She never talks nice about anyone. If I try to talk to her about her mother, she redirects to topics about herself. I could never count on support, only complaints from either sister. I consider myself the lucky one, because I get my MIL all to myself to love. Tomorrow a nurse is coming to draw her blood because I told the doc she could not leave the house without eating first. Small battle won.

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Donna (age 56) caregiver for mother-in-law Margaret (age 88).


Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:44 pm
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: The Dr. used the "N" word
Just a thought, but could you get her to go to a senior daycare (they don't all call it that) for a few hours a couple of times a week. Even if you have to convince her that she is "helping out?" It would give her a taste of being around seniors, particularly challenged ones, and would give you a break. I don't know if this will help transition her to an SNF, but it might be worth a try.

Kate

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:24 pm
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Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:25 am
Posts: 227
Post Re: The Dr. used the "N" word
Katelu: Good idea, except we live in a rural area and the closest senior daycare is 25 miles in the opposite direction from where I work. She hated the activities at the ALF and refused to participate in anything except the musical entertainment. Since she doesn't view herself as being infirm, she would resent going to one of these anyways. Her brothers call her "Iron Head" and that facet of her personality remains.

I emailed her daughters. We'll see what they say. Sometimes they don't reply back. Other times it's just a simple "Thanks for the update."

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Donna (age 56) caregiver for mother-in-law Margaret (age 88).


Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:38 am
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Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:25 am
Posts: 227
Post Re: The Dr. used the "N" word
Sure enough. The reply back was "thanks for the update."

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Donna (age 56) caregiver for mother-in-law Margaret (age 88).


Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:19 pm
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: The Dr. used the "N" word
Donna,
That is so sad, oh but when the time comes they will be the first in line ! You are a good person to take this on and I am sure it is out of love for your MIL !

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Irene Selak


Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:19 pm
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