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 another fall 
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
Posts: 355
Post another fall
Hi all,
after a long and frustrating month of being unable to go see my parents unless I had a driver, I finally went there today under my own steam. I had visited twice while I was recuperating and thought Dad looked ok, but his walk was very weak. Yesterday, my sister said he was walking almost bent over double. Today, he complained of terrible pain in his feet, so I bathed them in epsom salts and massaged them for a while. All seemed ok, and I came home this evening. 2 hours ago my mother rang in hysterics that he had fallen in the bathroom. The 7 miles to their house felt like 700. When I got there he was still on the floor, so after much maneuvering I eventually got him in the wheelchair and back into his chair by his bed. I could not persuade him to get into bed. My poor mother was in a terrible way.
He became very cross and was yelling over my poor mother calling me and telling me to come get him. I am still on crutches and he was mad that she called me. He then started into a fullblown rant against her, so I gave him some xanax to relax him, - I also gave some to my mother, and have just arrived home. I am so worried that he will fall again getting from the chair to the bed, but he would not hear of me staying any longer. I am so worried for them both. I am devastated. I think it is now time to put him in a nursing home. I think this is the beginning of another downward turn, and this time, I think, some very difficult decisions will have to be made.
thanks for listening,
Ger

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Sun May 08, 2011 5:11 pm
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Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:25 am
Posts: 227
Post Re: another fall
Hang in there. These decisions are never fun to make. It's tough to see once vital loved ones in the Lewy trap. I'll be thinking of you.

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Donna (age 56) caregiver for mother-in-law Margaret (age 88).


Sun May 08, 2011 5:50 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 610
Post Re: another fall
Ger,

Yes, you have some hard decisions to make. Nursing home placement is one of the hardest, I think, but one of the most important. It sounds as if having him at home simply may be a safety issue that has become insurmountable. Remember that you are making decisions in his best interests even if he rants about them. And you may not recognize the importance of this at the moment, but you must also preserve yourself for the sake of your mother, your husband and your children.

I'm sure you have read the comments of others on the forum who have placed their LOs. Although they might have expressed feelings of guilt at the time, it always sounds as if the placement worked out for the best. I know it did when I placed my mother. It might help you to keep in mind the experience of your forum friends.

You'll be in my thoughts,

Julianne


Sun May 08, 2011 6:02 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: another fall
Yes Ger, it may be time for some hard decisions, especially if the decline continues.

You need to know that being in a nursing facility of some type will not prevent him from falling. But a fall would certainly be easier on your mother in that situation.

I panicked the first few times Coy fell. I don't think I ever went into hysterics but the anxiety level was high. After a few falls I came to the conclusion that if he hadn't bumped his head and didn't have an injury other than bruises, it wasn't such a big deal. If I could talk him into just staying on the floor, provide him a pillow and a blanket I found that he regained his strength and could get up by himself or with minimal assistance. So maybe your dad was right -- it wasn't necessary for you to go flying over there to assist him, with you being on crutches. Or maybe he was using Lewy-inspired poor judgement in urging your Mom not to call you. Hard to say.

But often I couldn't persuade Coy to just wait it out on the floor. (He couldn't remember that he had ever fallen before, let alone what worked last time.) A transfer belt was handy, and once I had to call someone to come help him get him up. I found that for me to remain calm and matter-of-fact about the situation (easier said than done) helped us both get through it.

When Coy was in the falling-down-frequently mode, the wheelchair was a huge comfort. Minimizing his walking minimized his chances of falling. Some walking was still necessary, but it was easier to supervise limited walking.

You are the one who knows the situation best and most objectively. You are the one who may have to initiate hard decisions. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you the best. For as long as your father remains at home, do you think that you can help your mother to take his falls more calmly? That might be asking the impossible, but I think it would be helpful if you could achieve it.

_________________
Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Sun May 08, 2011 6:05 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3363
Location: Vermont
Post Re: another fall
Falling and not being able to get oneself up seems to be a turning point for many of us who are trying to keep our LO at home. If they cannot get up, and cannot even help us help them get up (which eventually happens) it becomes unfeasible to continue caring for them at home. Many of us have tried, and ended up with health issues of our own as a result, which isn't good.
It is not easy moving our LO to an unfamiliar place, but unless you can afford full time help at home, and more than one helper, there really isn't much else to be done. It took 2 - 3 people to get my dad up after he moved to the ALF and was falling there, but at least there was always someone within shouting distance who could call the other CGs to pick him up as he was incapable of even helping them get him up.
Many of us can empathize as we have been there, had to do that. Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sun May 08, 2011 6:07 pm
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Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:02 pm
Posts: 386
Location: East TN
Post Re: another fall
Listening to the talk about caregivers lifting LO's who have fallen or need to be turned in bed or helped to move in any way…

When my grandfather was bedridden in his late eighties my grandmother had a hospital bed brought into their home, we all took shifts, and she had outside help come in to help….

but she insisted in helping or at times trying to move him on her own…she had osteoporosis….she eventually caused more fractures to herself by her insistence to do more than her health allowed her to do…

my grandmother eventually outlived my grandfather by 10 years…but she suffered every day from the damage she did to herself in moving my grandfather….some of that damage was not necessary….be careful...

_________________
Craig - Patient - Male - 56 years old - Lewy Bodies diagnosed on March 23, 2011 - cognitive disorder NOS dx 2007 - RBD REM dx 2007 issues for 20+ years - intention tremor 1974 - other issues many years


Sun May 08, 2011 6:35 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post Re: another fall
Placement in a care facility is not a solution to the fall risk. The only solution I know to the fall risk is having the person be bed-bound or chair-bound.

Whether an LO is at home or in a care facility, you may need to hire sitters to watch your LO 7x24.


Sun May 08, 2011 7:22 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
Posts: 355
Post Re: another fall
Thank you all for the comfort that you give me and advice you share. It is a HUGE help to speak with people who have been there and done that.
JeanneG wrote:
For as long as your father remains at home, do you think that you can help your mother to take his falls more calmly? That might be asking the impossible, but I think it would be helpful if you could achieve it.

Jeanne, to be honest, I think my poor mother is at the end of her tether. I know from previous similar experiences, that she will not rest now, and will be constantly listening out for him. There is no reassuring her. She is bedbound upstairs, and cannot do anything, which makes the situation so much worse. I have tried several times to try to get them to come live with me, but they want to stay in their own familiar environment. Bar forcing them physically to move - what else can I do? We have made all the compromises we can. Unfortunately, now I think it is time to set the wheels in motion to move Dad. I have it all set up for the move since the last time he took a bad turn, so I guess its out of my hands now. As I said to my husband, how do I choose whose heart to break - Dad's by sending him to a nursing home ( when I mentioned it before to him about hospital he cried like a baby), or my mother's by leaving him at home, and letting her worry herself sick. Then I'm leavng her on her own!!

BC, I think I have already reached my limit physically - hence the recent surgery. Thank you for the caution. It is just so difficult to make that final decision .....................
Again, thank you all

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Sun May 08, 2011 7:26 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 610
Post Re: another fall
Seems to me that the issues here are much larger than the falls themselves. Of course Ger's father could fall in a nursing home, but also he could be better off there for a lot of other reasons, and her mother and Ger could also be better off if he is moved. There is a whole universe of issues and factors beyond just the falls that needs to be considered. This is very hard. But I think that Ger will know when the time is right for a move. Ger, I wish for you the strength to do what you feel is best. Please let us know how things go.

Julianne


Sun May 08, 2011 7:38 pm
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 12:22 am
Posts: 75
Post Re: another fall
Ger,
So sorry you have gotten to this choice. It really hurts. Yet, I have found that when it takes 3 or 4 people to care for someone because they are stronger, bigger, etc, this decision seems to be the only one at this point. I did not want to put my Chris into a facility, but when he became violent, I lost my choice. Praying for you and your parents. Lewy keeps limiting our choices just as it limits their abilities.

_________________
~~Debra, 52, wife to Chris, 64 DX Vascular Dementia 9/10; Alz 10 or 11/2010; Pseudo Dementia 01/11; LBD in 03/11..Was at home until 4/29, 2011, now in a Alz fac./dementia unit.
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Sun May 08, 2011 8:58 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3363
Location: Vermont
Post Re: another fall
"Placement in a care facility is not a solution to the fall risk."

I don't think anyone was implying it is a SOLUTION to falls, like it will prevent falls. It may be the BEST solution to caring for the person better.
(and caring for oneself better if there is a single CG at home with the LO)

And having the person bed-bound or chair-bound doesn't PREVENT falls either. Been there, done that too! Even when he couldn't feed himself, my dad was able to scoot himself out of his wheelchair and land on the floor if his CGs didn't get him back to his room when he was ready, often 5 min. after being wheeled to the dining room in the dementia unit!

Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Mon May 09, 2011 8:24 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: another fall
When Derek was at home I had to call the paramedics eight times in four months to pick him up off the floor as he was totally unable to even assist in getting up, not through lack of strength but lack of brain-muscle signals. He fell twice in the first two months at the SNF but the people and equipment were able to pick him up. Fortunately, he was never injured in his falls. He has a monitor on his wheelchair. Although unable to stand, he could still potentially push himself from his chair, as he still has good upper body strength.

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Mon May 09, 2011 10:12 am
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
Posts: 355
Post Re: another fall
I am still waiting for Dad's doctor to call. :evil: I think he has a chest infection as he is very wheezy. His walk is completely gone. Last night he didn't even have the strength to put is legs under him to get into the wheelchair.This seems to happen every time he has a chest or kidney infection. I'll keep ye updated. Ger

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Mon May 09, 2011 10:35 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: another fall
Oh, Ger! How upsetting! Yes, infections just throw them for a loop. Hope it gets resolved quickly!

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Mon May 09, 2011 10:52 am
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: another fall
Ger,
Sorry, Yes infections really cause such issues, I hope the Dr calls soon to direct you! Hard times thats for sure !

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Irene Selak


Mon May 09, 2011 1:05 pm
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