You are wise to get counseling now. I hope it helps you.

I'm glad you are taking care of you. The support groups I belong to have helped me so much the past 18 months. I've made some wonderful friends who have helped me immensely. I did see a social worker a few times, who works at our local memory center, and she was very helpful as well since she works with families of memory care patients every day. She was great.
Your dad may be in denial until there is a crisis, but is there something YOU can do now to check into possible ALFs? You may not need to sign papers, but if you at least know which would be the best for your mom (and your dad) you could get lots of the data collecting done now before it is a crisis. In some areas there are waiting lists, so that is really important to consider.
When my dad became completely unable to walk, stand, use his arms, etc. that happened overnight and he was put in the hospital after landing on the floor at 5 am, in a house by himself. He was never able to return home at all. You don't want to be in that position with no place for your mom to go and all that work to be done while you're dealing with her in the hospital.
Anything you can do ahead of time, even if you don't tell your dad about it, will only save you a lot of grief later on. Lynn