Today I also found out that my dad is back to yelling for help, even when he doesn't need help. He was doing this a few months ago, and stopped for a while, thank goodness. He is lonely when no one is there so we think he is calling for help just so someone will go into his room. He still refuses to go the activities room or the living room at the ALF where there are other people. I have a terrible feeling they (the ALF folks) are going to ask for him to be medicated so he can't be yelling for help all the time. Has anyone had experience with this? What did you do? Hiring someone to just come in and sit with him isn't an option - the money is being sucked out of his accounts just with the ALF expenses. Thank you, Lynn

Lynn, just wondering if they have volnteers that could go sit with your dad from time to time.? You might want to call and find out that way it doesn't have a cost. Sometimes here people call Calthic social services. Hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Lynda

Lynn, there is a bedbound lady at my mom's ALF that calls out "help me" off and on throughout the day. I've talked with her daughter and she says that she is lonely and wants someone to come in to talk to her. The daughter hires a private caregiver to sit with her for one 8 hour period each day, mostly during the nighttime. The television is always on, too, 24/7. However, every day we all hear "help me" called out from her room. It has become part of the background noise, really. A ALF caregiver will go in periodically to see if she needs something. If I think her call is particularly desperate I will tell a caregiver that I think she needs attention.

Other than that, I see the daughter and her husband there every day working their shifts, just like they see me and my husband.

I would bet that the ALF won't try to medicate your LO for yelling help me. If you are still concerned, you can talk to your father's doctor and say you didn't want any orders like that filled. I have found that I can talk to the management at our ALF with my concerns, too. For example, when my mom was falling all the time I asked if they had any policy that would mean she would be discharged if she fell too often. No, there isn't. By the way, on falling, today is one month since the last fall! A celebration is in order.

I have contacted Hospice to see if they have any volunteers who can come in for a few hours a day a few times a week when friends or family are not there with him. That way we can try to schedule them ahead of time so most days someone is there with him. They are calling me back Mon. We just don't have the money to pay someone to come in and sit with him and not run out of ALF money if he lives several more years. I am trying to spend his money very judiciously! If only the stock market would cooperate! (and the VA!)
Glad your mom hasn't fallen lately Annie. Lynn

Lynn, I think everybody tries to make the best decisions we can with our particular circumstances. In our case, I am spending down my Mom's money in the expectation that she will be granted medicaid when there is little left. A medicaid room at the ALF is a shared room, but there are several of these rooms there and people seem to do pretty well in them. In fact, it might be less isolating. When we signed up for the ALF, we had "the medicaid talk". They can't guarantee a room but current residents have priority.

My dad's ALF does not accept Medicaid. We have 4 more years to go before he is eligible for Medicaid, and at that time we will have to move him to a NH because there is not another ALF around his area. And, since most of his money is in stocks, we have to depend on the market and the stock broker to help us figure out what to sell to keep paying the bills. Unfortunately my dad thought his LTC insurace would pay 100% of his care - it covers 3 days! So his money is getting sucked right out of his assets. And, I keep having to pay for the upkeep on his 60 yr. old house as well in order to protect that asset. Nothing simple here..... Lynn

Lynn,
You mean medicare right? Not medicaid ?

At least in WA State for an ALF.

Irene, I think she does mean Medicaid. She might be figuring it would be that long before he had 'spent down' to a Medicaid level. As she says, when you're dealing with stock, it's hard for the state to value his assets.

Correct - Medicaid. The ALF where he is chooses NOT to have any Medicaid patients, so everyone there is private pay. The spend down period nowdays before a person is eligible for Medicaid is 5 years. If the stock market goes up significantly and we have been able to preserve some assets, he may have "too much" money to go on Medicaid in 4 years. If the stock market goes down any more, we could run out of assets before the 4 years are up. Thus, one of many reasons I wish we could get a better idea (if one is to be had) on his possible longevity. I am constantly having to fight the finances battle at the same time trying to provide him with excellent care. But, if he is living in 4 more years and we want need him to be on Medicaid, he will have to move to a NH that accepts Medicaid patients. There is no ALF there that takes Medicaid patients.
Annie - I wasn't sure what you meant in your post.
Lynn

Ok thanks for clearing that up, I remember just a short time ago that they are going to push the dementia patients through for benefits sooner with SS, which really doesn't help much as there is still a 2 yr wait period for medicare. I had heard that the spend time had been 5 yrs I think it used to be 3 yrs not really sure when that all changed!

I think the Medicaid wait used to be 2 yrs., then it changed to 3, then it changed to 5 which is what the current spend down period is. I don't know much about Medicare at all, but my dad being 88 it isn't something I have had to think about..... Having just turned 60 last week, it is something I guess I will need to think about (sooner than I'd care to!). LOL

Lynn,
Yes you will sooner than you think ! LOL!

Waiting for the hospice people to call back about their Pathways Program - that is non-medical hospice services. They are supposed to see if they can find an older man who can come in a few hours several days a week to talk with him. Hopefully this will work out. Thanks for your responses.

Good, Lynn! Hope it works! --Pat