A speech and hearing therapist said, "when you ask him to do something, count to 30 to give him time to process the directive". (My comment: Yes, it seems to help; I know I'm so impatient because I have so much to do, but I must learn to use this little suggestion).

• I have learned that slow, steady walking is better for preserving stamina, because with his Parkinson's, his muscles cannot recover from use as quickly as a healthy person's, and slow walking allows him to 'pace himself'.
• I have learned that when he appears tired, he must rest, either by standing or sitting. If I coax him to continue, he is at increased risk of falling.
• I have learned to place chairs at various intervals along (but not in) the traffic paths in our home to provide rest stations.
• I have learned to keep the path well illuminated, and close the doors of rooms that might distract him from his walking task.
• I have learned to let him brush his teeth while sitting on a chair before the bathroom sink.
• I try to recognize signs that he is growing fatigued before he becomes so lethargic that his safety and my successful managing are jeopardized.
• I have learned to have flashlights on hand in the car and in the house to "shed some light" on his world and get him to focus. I use the flashlight especially on stairs. Incidentally, I have heard that using a flashlight to 'spot' the next step can improve the gait of the patient.
• I have learned to be attentive to him when he walks, being prepared to assist him. That means that I cannot carry packages when I supervise him; I need my hands for his safety.
• I have learned that a gait belt can be very helpful in handling him.
• I have learned that the best place for him, at times, is in the wheelchair.
• I have learned that medical personnel are anxious to learn about LBD, which most have never heard about. They appreciate that we teach them.
• I have learned that we need to have our LO's up-to-date medication list available for emergency and medical personnel to copy.
• I have learned we need to be vigilant at every step of the way through a medical experience, realizing there are likely to be 'communication glitches'.
• I have learned we need to realize that our medical establishment at the patient/hands-on level is gravely understaffed.
• I have learned we can't assume "they" always know what they're doing; professionals that they are, they're also human and forget, overlook, fail to understand.
• I have learned we need (sadly) to take advantage of opportunity when someone within the system offers to help pave the way so that our LO gets the best of care.
• I have learned I need to work at not expecting the worse or worrying about the "what ifs". My worry usually is for nothing and if it does happen, my worry obviously didn't stop it.
• I have learned to look on the bright side of LBD, at least in this stage of the disease. However bad things are or seem to be at the moment, in a few hours they'll probably be different and often better.

Things I've learned in dealing with both parents having dementia...

 They outnumber me from the get-go, so on important stuff I bring in reinforcements - either my brother by phone, my roommate, or allude to some vague authority figure (to use their paranoia for their own good).
Both need consistency - i.e., med trays are always filled Saturday evening, appointments are on the calendar, etc.

They both use the same neuro-psyche doctor, PCP, and home health. Although appointments they have to go to are coordinated so we can car-pool, they each go in individually. This helps maintain their individuality which is hard since they always do things together and are so enmeshed. It also gives their doctors a better sense of what is going on. I usually go in last by myself and the doc and I can talk candidly and honestly.

I've tried for over two years to get POAs and legal stuff updated. I'm sort of resigned to going through the courts if I have to when the time comes, or waiting until the first parent dies to update the remaining parent's legal stuff. I did get them both to a free consult, but it "costs too much money". I was able to get them to purchase their pre-need cremation/burial plan since they would "save money that way". Paranoia, inflexibility and being tightwads to the max add to the equation and frustration. Use creativity and reframing to use their fixations/delusions to work for them rather than against them.

Pick your battles! If it isn't dangerous, illegal or quality of life threatening, waiting a day or two to act sometimes solves the problem. They will both often forget what they wanted to do in the first place, or their concerns are "OBE" (Overcome by events)..

When both parents have dementia, they still have each other - which is important to them and important for me to realize and remember. As an adult child (and even as a caregiver), there are some aspects about their relationship that's none of my business. Even a spouse with dementia is still a spouse and company, and reduces the amount of time I need to spend "socializing". It also reduces the time either of them wants to entertain me! Even loved ones with dementia need their space - as do the caregivers!

Everything I've shared may change in a heartbeat with fluctuations and as their respective dementias progress. At least right now, the progression has slowed with the medications.